Most of you who know me know that I struggle with rheumatoid arthritis. What you may not know is some of the background.
Two years ago this past May I "retired" from nursing because my hands became too unreliable to even draw up a simple injection. Nursing was my life's work and I was heartbroken to leave the surgeon's I had worked with for many years.
At that point I began the process of trying to get disability. I've been denied, told to get a backbone and quick complaining, etc., etc., etc. Also during that time I developed my lifelong love of knitting and have turned it into a successful part time business.
The last time I appealed the denial I received from Social Security telephoned a friend in the Springs who is an attorney specializing in this area and asked him what to do. I followed his instructions to the letter and a month ago I received a letter stating that not only was I approved for disability but for SSI as well. PTL!
Persistency was the key, I guess. I honestly have entertained the thought they the "powers that be" thought I would just give up. But I knew I couldn't. I am becoming more and more disabled. I have really good days and REALLY bad days. Lately I have had some really gruesome days and it has caused me to miss church, sit at home and play on the internet, try to knit even though it hurts and my house could really use a good going over. Sooner or later we will need to move to a one level dwelling, and I'll need to pull my electric wheelchair out of the storage unit in the basement. But for now....
For now, I thank God for every day that doesn't hurt and every day that does. I don't want to be a martyr or even sound like one, but many years ago, when this battle first began I read Where is God When It Hurts by Philip Yancey and found it very enlightening. The thing I remember is this: no matter HOW MUCH we suffer in this life and no matter what caused it, there is no way we can EVER liken it to the load Jesus carried on the cross. Not only was he nailed there but the weight of all our sins was cast on him. I can't even imagine!
I don't feel sorry for myself. I just take it one minute at a time.
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